Sunday, August 21, 2011


So I got offered a job...
the ONLY ONE that I applied for...
the one that I waited an answer for for two months...

Its just a "test proctor" for College of Southern Idaho.
So a testing center person who checks people in to do their test.
Sooo nothing special....

I felt pretty proud that I got the job though...

so I went to training on Wed.
Looks pretty manageable.
No hard labor or long time standing up.
And its not minimum wage.
So we are GOOD!

Then Maverick and I sat down that night to work out our schedules.
We did the math, made a daily schedule and day care expences for Hyrum and came to the conclusions that we would only have a $60 profit.

Sooo, I quit on Thurs morning...

Anyway, the whole point of this post is to share what I realized during this whole process.

Maverick voiced out during our discussion that it is very important for him to not have Hyrum (or any of our future kids) to be bounced around all over the place or in day care for long periods of time.

Which I totally agree on, BUT staying at home ALL DAY EVERYDAY can get pretty old.

Maybe I would feel a lot better about staying at home if I can drive,
or if I was better at keeping the house clean,
or if we had more money,
or if I had friends.

But the past few weeks I was feeling really down about myself.
like there was something missing...

I felt like I really really needed a job because we are NEEDING the extra income to not only pay for everyday necessities but also to prepare for the new baby.

I also felt like I needed a job so that I can have a break from Hyrum. My 'lack of adult interaction' has led me to become easily frustrated and its rubbing on to Hyrum. I felt like it would do both of us good if I left him in someone else care for 3-4 hours a day. 
Its not that long after all...

I grew up with my mum ALWAYS having a job.
So I NEVER imagined myself being a stay-at-home mom.
Actually, i've always known that I will have a career despite my wants to have lots of kids.
And MAYBE I will...

BUT, I realized that right now
the BEST THING for our family
is for me to be with my son 24/7.

So with that, im still unemployed.
And have been since December 2010.
I havent been unemployed for this long since I was 15 years old!

But im ok with it because now I choose to see it from a different perspective.

Because, I am in fact, EMPLOYED.

My job is to teach, to nurture, to discipline a child of God.

And come to think of it,
If not the most important!

Yes! I scream at him, and get angry, and send him to timeout
and sometimes I just want NEED timeout myself.

BUT, in all reality,
He makes me laugh, and love life, and 
more than he makes me cringe.

So here's to declaring that

I dont get financial security, medical benefits, and company meetings.
I get wet kisses, soft cuddles, "abb oo" (love you), and "tee tum" (thank you).

Much more 'Eternally Beneficial', if I say so myself.



  1. you should read janices recent post on being a mom. (its pretty inspirstional). and living in ca, having a job is just not worth it to the daycare i would have to pay. and I LOVE MY JOB! its hard. heres some tips: get mommy friends to go to the park so u get some adult conversation (its hard in a new area, which i am in right now but its gets better), get some alone me time when hyrum goes to sleep and indulge in guilty pleasures (TV, ice cream) it de-stresses me.... i wish we live closer...!!!! i miss u!

  2. Amen sistah!I hear yeah.I felt like that for a while.But at the end of the day I keep on telling myself that it is worth it.My child is indeed worth it. And having a drivers license really helped me a lot to actually overcome the depression in Utah.

  3. So beautifully written Aissa! I have no doubt you are an amazing mother, and wife too. Weird and crazy how life plays out sometimes, huh?